My intake of alcohol in med school is drastically greater than any other period of my life. Work hard, play hard; so drinking more was my effort to bring balance to my life. The peak was last summer where I spent a month's worth of rent solely on alcohol. Beer progressed to mixed drinks and evolved to my current drink of choice: aged whiskey on the rocks. It got to the point where I would not think twice about drinking heavily four days in a row. I woke up hung over only to go out and refill my glass. Our medical school curriculum taught us that if an alcoholic drink improves your hangover, it is a sign of an addiction to alcohol and I was treading on dangerous ground. I'm not sure why the drinking got to so intense, but it was a marvelously epic blur. I have drastically cut back since classes have started. However, I can say that I able look back at this summer with fond memories, at least with the ones that I remember.

"She said I want to be a raindrop. I don't mind falling as long as I'm not alone..."

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there."
— Bob Marley

I just won second place in a my medical school's art journal with the photo below.  Although this is not my first award and I have been published before, it is always a surprise. I was excited at first but I started to think more and more about giving up my dream of getting a masters in fine arts in photography to pursue medicine. I remember that day where on one hand, I had my portfolio and on my other hand I had my med school application. What it came down to was a choice: I could either use my camera to make pretty things for the rest of my life or I could fix people and reduce suffering. It was surprisingly difficult to act on my decision regardless of how convincing the logic was. What if I became a photo journalist and exposed corrupt governments or publicized areas in conflict and turmoil? Would I be able to help more people? Could I be at peace with myself 50 years from now? There was no way to circumvent the inevitable. 

I recently went on a date with an art student. Artists are interesting because they exhibit some type of dysfunction in the way they see the world. It is not that they are damaged or wrong but that they see the world from a different perspective. Perhaps, they are in a state of perpetual conflict with the rest of society and their art is an attempt to express their beliefs and angst? Well, she was no exception and our conversations were sublime. I don't think I'll call her again; we are too different and I am too practical for my own good. That is how I know that I would never be a true artist and how I come to terms with my decision. 

Rigoletto Cemetery, Buenos Aires, Argentina

After you have fallen in love, being single is not the same. You have to relearn how to be alone. When you see a couple, you can wish you have what they have: companionship and love. Or you can just be happy they found each other. However, being alone, you start to be observant. You notice the small things in life like a warm sunset sky or the wind gently dancing in a field. You start to see the beauty in everyday life. You begin to realize that solitude is a blessing. 

"Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky"
-Rabindranath Tagore

"As heartborken as I felt, my world had become richer for loving"
-Ajanh Tanasanti

Finals hit and I studied hard. Vacation followed so I partied hard.  I guess you can call that balance. The last few weeks have been a total paradigm shift of what my first few months of med school was like. I love exploring this city and I must admit, LA is starting to grow on me. Now, if only I could find more hours in the day so I can sleep.